Reflections
by Falcom
Summary: :Blaine-introspective fic, some Klaine: Blaine muses about the past, and lives in the moment. His life could only get better.


**A/N: **Hello hello! Welcome to my first Klaine story ever! I wrote this for the Help_Japan project over on Livejournal back, April? This is for the lj user jacklemmon who requested a slice of life Blaine fic (being with Kurt is a plus). It's a bit ramble-y and _might_ have weird continuity issues considering I wrote it in so many sittings, but here you go! :D

**Disclaimer:** Glee is the property of FOX, which has pretty much nothing to do with me (sadly). The title is actually a song by Mae., which doesn't have anything to do with the fic at all but y'all should listen to it (and Mae.'s other songs) anyway :D

_This fic is un-beta'd._

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><p><strong>Reflections<strong>

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><p>Blaine liked to feign being over what happened the last time he had attended a public high school, if only to attempt to deceive himself of the truth. If he were high enough he could almost believe it, like when he was spending time with the Warblers (be it rehearsal or just hanging out) or being together with the love of his life, or even just sitting alone to unwind with a good cup of tea. Those moments never lasted, however, so the belief that he was past all that was fleeting, and felt much shorter than the few hours at a time that he knew they were.<p>

He knew it was ridiculous to do so, but every time his mind dutifully dredged up those memories he longed to forget, he almost felt...ashamed of them, like they were memories of a time he had cast upon himself rather than ones that he had had no choice to participate in. At his lowest point his mind would even mock him with his having left the school (and even Columbus, although the two technically had nothing to do with one another) because, in essence, he had ran.

He had ran from his problems and, as a result (although he wasn't sure if things would've been any different had he stayed), three years after it happened he was still haunted by the ghost of his life pre-Dalton. Well, maybe 'haunted' wasn't _quite_ the word to use, since it wasn't like it was in his mind _all_ the time- just when he was feeling a bit morose and couldn't _help_ but think about it (or when, for whatever reason, someone brought up a bullying incident that happened elsewhere, but that was...different).

And...he was thinking about it again. The fear, the pain, the humiliation...all of it was there. The fear of going to school but knowing he had to or else face the repercussions from his dad, the pain (emotional, mental, physical...) of having to deal with being destroyed bit by bit by people who only _thought_ they knew him (or didn't care enough to look beyond one little thing), the humiliation of having to face his uncaring peers' faces after every incident with the knowledge that they thought he deserved it (and not to mention his parents' when he'd return home with evidence that something wasn't quite right at school)...

They all were scars that didn't seem like they'd heal, but heal they were. It was a slow process spurred on only by the events happening in his life, starting from moving to Westerville and ending at...well, he hadn't reached that point yet so he didn't know when that would be, but, he knew, it'd come eventually.

He had some of the best friends in the world now, after all, who he'd trade nothing for, who, he knew, would look out for him regardless of what happened.

After his family ended up moving to Westerville because of his dad's transfer and his mom's eventual urging that his old school wasn't a good place for him (something she had pushed all the more after he'd confessed the main reason he got harassed was because he was gay and not because of the hundreds of other reasons he'd given her), he had decided to make a change. Being 100 percent himself, unwilling to change himself for anyone else regardless of how they treated him, hadn't worked out so well; in the end what he had learned about being himself in middle school only made everything _worse_ for him, and only made him want to do the exact opposite of what he felt was right because it hurt too much to do otherwise.

So when his parents had enrolled him at Dalton, despite the assurance that bullying of any kind was not tolerated and would be punished immediately, he gave up being the little goofball the few friends he had had at his old school knew him as and did his best to fit in with everyone else. It wasn't an easy task; Dalton wasn't the kind of school that just anyone could go to considering how much it cost to attend, and there was the obvious difference between him and the other Dalton-goers in that Blaine's family wasn't particularly rich like a good 95 percent of the other students' families were. That, basically, meant that the majority of the student body had a different etiquette they had grown up with, different beliefs of how people should act, that he had to learn to adjust himself to if he didn't want to be outcast in anyway– which, as he would find out after joining the glee club and making what he'd consider to be life-long friends, was a ridiculous fear since they didn't really care either way as long as he was respectful of others and did what he was supposed to do when he was supposed to do it.

Being at Dalton had taught him that there was a time and place for everything, that while joking around, having fun, and just putting himself out there were all right in some occasions, it wasn't necessarily the correct way to approach every situation like he had in the past. He learned that being discreet about what you do or who you were _wasn't_, in fact, the same as being ashamed; that letting someone else take the spotlight didn't mean that they were better or more important than him, because they were a _team_ and teams worked their strengths and overcame their weaknesses _together_.

It was in this way that, over the course of his freshman and sophomore years, he learned new social skills and regained the ones he had lost due to the bullying at his old school, as well as gaining a major boost in confidence he had been severely lacking before that made him an easy target. It got to the point that his self-confidence boosted him to try out to be and, soon enough, achieve his goal of being the Warblers' lead soloist, with everyone's support giving him the strength to keep on in the low times that came (and went).

And then Kurt had came around, and, well...the memories flooded back all the more quickly every time he looked into the younger boy's fragile gaze; he never begrudged Kurt for that, however. It wasn't Kurt's fault that Blaine went through what he went through, nor was it Kurt's fault that his situation so closely resembled Blaine's own. It was nobody's fault really, and in actuality Blaine hesitated to even call it a fault at all. At the time it had been the _perfect_ opportunity to not only help someone else with something he had more than enough experience with, but it was also an opportunity to try and get past what happened to him as well- a double-plus in Blaine's book.

And if he had presented himself as more confident and sure of himself than he truly was (especially around that subject), well...it had seemed like Kurt _needed_ someone who had been through the same things he'd been going through who was no longer afraid of his past, who was able to scoff at the things the bullies had done to him because he had grown stronger and was _beyond_ all that.

Blaine was nothing if not accommodating, and had built himself up to counter the lows in other boy's life, to become the very same support that he himself had lacked not even a full year ago.

He hadn't planned it, really. He hadn't planned on getting too close to Kurt (definitely not close enough for Kurt to realize that the bravado Blaine mustered up was not, in fact, his usual state of being, and definitely not close enough for _Blaine_ to be the one to tell him it wasn't), hadn't planned on Kurt falling for him (that _still_ blew his mind, by the way. What was so great about him?) when Blaine himself had fallen for another (short-lived though that had been), and he most _definitely_ hadn't planned on falling for Kurt in the end. Although, in hindsight, he can't really say that he was all that surprised. Kurt was..._amazing_. Entrancing. Adorable. Fun. Intelligent. Strong. Caring...

He still didn't know what he had done to deserve someone like Kurt. It wasn't like Blaine was even half as amazing as Kurt was...

"Blaine. _Blaine_. Aren't you going to answer that?"

Blaine tore himself out of his reverie and sent his mom a questioning glance, his train of thought officially lost. He had half-forgotten that she was there, which was silly considering they were on the road and hey, Blaine _wasn't_ the one driving. "What?"

"Your phone's been going off for the past few minutes. You know how your father feels about me answering the phone while driving, and you know I can't get a lie past him. So answer it."

"Oh." Blaine smiled sheepishly and snatched up his cell phone that was, in fact, vibrating quite loudly (how had he missed that, anyway? He had set it next to him specifically so he'd notice it when it was going of) and glanced at the caller before answering, a note of happiness entering his voice. "Hey, how are you?"

"_You certainly took your sweet time answering. What were you doing, sleeping? It _is_ only nine in the morning, so I wouldn't be overly surprised if you had been."_

Blaine chuckled lightly at his boyfriend's teasing tone, and grinned when his mom rolled her eyes in his direction. "No, actually. I'm on my way to Columbus with my mom- we're supposed to be visiting some relatives. What're you up to?"

"_Trying – and failing, might I add – to teach Finn how to pack properly. He seems to believe that just throwing everything into the suitcase in an unruly fashion is a perfectly acceptable way to pack. Sports have done him no good in that respect- I'm sure he learned how to pack inappropriately from having to pack duffel bags all the time."_

"Probably. But he has you to learn from, right? Then maybe he could use whatever he learns from proper suitcase packing etiquette to pack his duffel bags with."

"_I'm pretty sure that's being too hopeful, Blaine. I've yet to successfully teach Finn how to fold a shirt properly; I don't have any expectations that he'd even remember to apply anything he learns from me toward future packing endeavors."_

Blaine laughed. "There's no harm in trying though, right? You never know- he might surprise you."

"_I don't know Blaine...the number of times that I've been surprised by Finn are just about equal to the number of years that I've known him, so I'm not particularly confident in his ability to retain something like this."_

"Well, you've known him longer than I have, so I'll take your word for it." Without skipping a beat, he added: "Why does he need to pack, anyway?"

"_We're spending the week at Carole's parents' place in Lancaster. Maybe we'll run into each other."_

Blaine "hmm"ed in agreement; Columbus and Lancaster were only a short drive away from one another, so meeting up for an afternoon or two when they had the time to do so wouldn't be _too_ difficult of a thing to accomplish, distance-wise. "Maybe. You think your dad'll let you get away? I mean, I don't recall you telling me about meeting the family on Carole's side, aside from the ones that came to the wedding a while back."

"_As long as I've spent a proper amount of time with the relatives, I'm sure I can beg an afternoon of free time out of him. I'll just observe what Finn does and see how everyone reacts, though, since that will probably be the most telling of whether or not I could get away."_

"Probably would be a good idea." Blaine agreed. "So hey-"

"_Just a second Blaine."_ Muffled shouting filtered through the speaker for a few moments before Kurt's voice returned. _"I gotta go. We're supposed to be leaving soon, and my dad and Carole need help loading the car while Finn finishes packing his things. I'll text you, all right?"_

Blaine smiled at the exasperation in Kurt's voice. "All right, I'll let you go perform your responsibilities as a duteous son then."

Kurt laughed. _"I'm sure my dad and Carole will be thankful to you for that." _A beat, then: _"I'll text you when I can get away with doing so."_

"All right, talk to you then."

After they said their goodbyes and hung up, Blaine sighed and rested his forehead against the car door's window and closed his eyes.

"Who was that?"

"Kurt. His family's visiting some relatives in Lancaster."

"Hm."

When no further response from his mom came, Blaine sighed again and opened his eyes to check who else had been trying to contact him, and was greeted by texts from some of the other Warblers detailing (in other words, whining) why they were up so early and why Blaine was lucky to still be asleep despite the fact that he was, in fact, not (several of them were going on a camping trip together out-of-state that Blaine _knew _they were excited for, so he was fairly certain that the whining was just for show).

Just as he was about to respond to Wes's text about how the other Warblers going on the trip were acting like a bunch of children, his phone vibrated as another text came in. A little window popped up on his screen that left him forgetting about responding to his friends' various complaints.

**From: Kurt**

_I'll try to bring up going to Columbus sometime during the course of this trip. Fingers crossed._

**To: Kurt**

_Hey, don't sweat it if you can't make it up. I'm sure I could get away with my mom's car and go down there sometime if it's too much trouble._

**From: Kurt**

_Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to get into trouble with your family._

**To: Kurt**

_I'll be fine. If it were my dads side of the family we were visiting, no, but its my moms. The worst they'll do is tease me before I leave. Don't worry about it._

**From: Kurt**

_Well if you're confident, let's go with that. I wouldn't want to disappoint my dad by leaving entirely; he's trying hard at joining our families together._

Blaine smiled before sending one more text (that he'll bring it up and hey, sorry, but it _is_ 9 in the morning so he'd like to sleep more even if it wouldn't be very long) and set his phone back down in the cup holder next to his seat. After a couple seconds of fighting for a comfortable position, Blaine closed his eyes and, soon enough, slept, a tiny smile gracing his lips.

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><p>It was a few days into their respective trips that they finally managed to acquire a day that they both were able to get away for a few hours.<p>

Slowly Blaine pulled off of Memorial Drive to pull into the road that led to the River Valley Circle, which surrounded the River Valley Mall. It took him a few minutes, but eventually he decided that parking in front of the main entrance was good enough (by virtue of being the closest entrance to a parking lot) and guided his car into an empty parking space before shutting the machine down, getting out, and closing the door behind him. Absentmindedly he pat his pockets to make certain that he had his phone and his wallet and, upon confirming that he, in fact, had both, locked the car as he made his way toward the entrance.

He hadn't really been to the River Valley Mall in quite some time (the last time he'd even been in _Lancaster_ was a few years back), but he remembered it well enough to manage the short trip to FYE where Kurt and Finn (who had, according to Kurt, practically begged to come along) had said they'd be waiting for him. When he arrived at FYE, it only took a cursory glance around to spot his boyfriend and his boyfriend's step-brother perusing the music section. It didn't look like either of them had spotted him, so Blaine paused and took the extra time to stare.

Kurt was talking animatedly with Finn about something that Blaine couldn't make out due to being too far away, but what he was saying wasn't what mattered. It was the confident way in which Kurt held himself that made Blaine smile softly. Nobody would be able to tell that Kurt was broken before and still in the stages of healing, and Blaine felt it to be a privilege to have been able to be a part of such an intimate piece of Kurt's life, to be _loved_ by someone so strong and capable when he himself was weak in comparison.

Smile still in place, Blaine carefully – so neither boy would notice his presence – made his way to the aisle that Kurt and Finn were currently studying the various albums at, his steps quiet and body ready to dive for cover if needed. Blaine quickly motioned for Finn to act like he hadn't seen him when the jock happened to glance in his direction, and quickly maneuvered himself into the aisle before Kurt would notice him (which he thankfully hadn't, by virtue of him continuing to finger the CDs before him and talking to Finn). When he was close enough to them (Kurt was going on about their summer plans and how working at the garage was going to factor into those plans so _therefore_ they needed some new, _good_, music to listen to while there), Blaine covered his boyfriend's eyes from behind gently and whispered, "Am I part of those plans you're making?" near Kurt's ear.

"Blaine!" The cry made Blaine laugh as Kurt tore his hands from his eyes and turned around to face him, his eyes sparkling. "Of course you are! Why wouldn't you be?"

"Just checking." Blaine grinned as Kurt pulled him into a hug, their hands still connected when they pulled away from one another. "Hey Finn. Good to see you here."

Finn gestured a greeting with the drink he had been holding as he swallowed what he had just put in his mouth (a pretzel, by the looks of it), an action that made Kurt scowl and scold him about not chewing his food properly and choking. Even though his attention was on Finn, Kurt laced his fingers through Blaine's, making the older boy's grin grow.

This? This was what life was _supposed_ to be like. It may not have been perfect getting here, and it may not be perfect after, but now, in this moment? He couldn't have asked for more.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thanks for reading, and any and all feedback would be lovely :D


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